Letters to My Daughter, January 2017

Letters to My Daughter, January 2017

12 February 2017

My dear kewpie,

Happy New Year and I'd like to start by saying I am deeply sorry.

I am deeply, terribly sorry that instead of honoring the long hours and efforts you have put into Hunter test, I undervalued all of these with my poor choice of words and behavior.

I know for a fact that you worked really hard and put much concerted efforts and time into the whole process and on the testing day. And it is very wrong and selfish of me to belittle those and to behave the way I did. You did not disappoint me. I disappointed you.

I let my feeling and what I want overcloud my thinking and I felt terrible about what I have said, how I have reacted, and how I have treated you. You have every right to hate me. (But please don't.)

Please do know that whatever the outcome is, you are an incredible person! I want you to know and remember that a result of a test will not and should not determine who you are. Do not a test result define you. Because you are more than that! And because you are a person capable of great things! I know that and I believe that. You are cut out for much bigger things in life.

I will not forget the day we took that subway train after the test. You mentioned that there are four things you actually learned from this whole Hunter test. I asked what are those. To this day, your answers mesmerized me.

1. Time management. You realized that you need to work on your time management skill in order to accomplish a task.
2. Make sacrifice and prioritize. In your words, "I usually cook or bake every weekend, but since I started the test prep classes, I had to stop. But it's OK, because I was preparing to get into a good school."
3. There is a process to get to a point, such as test prep classes, filling out forms and admission tests before the actual decision. 
4. Practice makes perfect. Read the essay you first attempted to write. Then, read the last essay you wrote. I am sure it will put a smile on your face. 

No matter what the outcome is, I love you and I will never, ever judge you.
Continue to pursue what you believe in and what you are passionate about.
I will watch you conquer the world!

Love you, my kewpie.
Bun-bun